


The Lock Fic

by westingwood (orphan_account)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Other, Sheriarty - Freeform, but here you go: lock!lock, i don't ship the main three so y'all are gonna get CRACK SHERIARTY, i hope y'all are happy, lock au, lock!lock, they're literally locks, y'all thirst too damn much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 20:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6722758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/westingwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lockiest fic to ever lock. Enjoy this lockery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lock Fic

**Author's Note:**

> what the hell else am i supposed to call it? deadlock? deadbolt? anyway. lock!lock. hope y'all are happy. thanks sky for dealing with my bullshit. betcha this ends up on wtffanfiction in a week
> 
> This took all of a few seconds to write. Un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine. Enjoy.

Sherlock, a Master Padlock of impeccable value, wobbled his way into the flat, though locks aren't necessarily capable of "wobbling". Mostly he just tumbled end-over-end to the front of the cushioned chair; to him, this obstacle was not worth taking on as the reward was little to none. He looked under the chair and saw a shiny, quite new combination lock with printed dials - Moriarty. Which other lock could it be, he thought, as most locks don't have 'IOU' stamped onto the plastic dial. Without any sort of usable pretense or reason, Sherlock tumbled front-over-front to the dark corner of the underside of the chair, led them both to the peg, and met Jim lockface to lockface. He wanted to see what was underneath that cold shiny exterior. He wanted to see his foe's inner workings and come face-to-face with them. Not waiting any longer, he turned the smaller lock's dial, making him drip lubricating oils and click with pleasure, except neither of them can do that, because they're locks, and locks cannot think, let alone click "with pleasure."

Right when Sherlock thought he had cracked the code, Mrs. Hudson (a diary lock of little resistance) bounced into the flat and screamed, for the sight of Sherlock unlocking his worst enemy against the peg of a couch was too much for her fragile coils to handle. Her lock casing busted open and delicate springs went flying all across the room.

The world sure was starting to look blurry to the padlock.

"See, Sherlock?" 'Jim' said after he finished dripping copious amounts of oil everywhere, including onto the Master lock of pad. "Some locks just can't handle all _this_." "By the way, that was fun, but you could have just asked for the code. It's '12-34-56.' Never would have guessed, huh? You always want everything to be clever, you sturdy lock, you."

Suddenly, Sherlock woke up. The room looked exactly the same as before he slept, no coils or ejaculating locks anywhere. 

_Fuck, I'm high_ , Sherlock thought.

"Fuck, I'm high," Sherlock said.

**Author's Note:**

> i myself ship sheriarty. haaard. there is a lack of ANY content that is not A. johnlock in disguise B. ooc as fuck C. sadsadsad D. often a combo of all those things. also, why does everyone else get the weird crack fics? there. we now have one too.
> 
> I'm just gonna go cry about the lack of fem!sheriarty now.


End file.
